I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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