Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
