Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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