i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
