Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
