If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
