i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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