the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
