Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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