went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
