Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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