It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
