I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
