This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
