Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
