Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
