I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
