I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
