My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
