Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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