Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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