could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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