I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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