id be glad to
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You ate ashes out of my bong
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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