I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
