I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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