Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
