Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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