The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
