Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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