so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
