she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
