I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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