Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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