evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry about my life...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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