some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
