We're facebook friends in real life
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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