can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
