I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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