What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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