Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize