Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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