No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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