The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sext me about skeletons
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
