Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
