Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
