She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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