This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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