she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
