I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize