whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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