I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
