Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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