i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
