dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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