Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
