Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
