That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
