My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
